(Awesome) Sheryl
& well, just sheryl.
hmmmm.
Fidgeted a little last night before sleeping.
Stayed in on Saturday and Sunday. Though helped mum w some chores, still felt like abit redundant.
Just what i've been cultivating the past months.
How mum managed to function w her little daughter perpetually out of the house either working or gallivanting.
Thought wld be nice to stay in and help ard.
hmmmm.
realised i've rly been doing two different things w two different people.
my Awesome persona in school, where i try to be confident, happy, gay;
vs me.
mopey, worrying, unsettled, messed up inside.
all the running about and shopping(!) were just a ruse to make me focus on other things,
other than stuff like me forgetting music as a part of my life,
me not giving back to the community like i once promised to,
me giving up on my resolutions to do things i said i wld.
solitude only made things clearer in perspectives.
so what if i cleared 3 tutorials on saturdays.
i have no dreams, no will, no pride.
hmmmm.
maybe it's the money thing.
dreams lose the tug of war w practicality.
oh you, Taurean dear..
why do community service or pursue your dreams when you can earn money?
The more awesome i feel,
the more i am not.
awesomeness is just a smokescreen =/
ohwell. school tmr.
back to being awesome.
(:
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